I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
