I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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