It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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