I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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