I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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