Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's blow job season.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
