really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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