It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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