if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
