My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
