so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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