hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
