im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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