Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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