well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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