Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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