I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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