R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
