Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i just wanna soil my oats bro

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(712): View more from Iowa

Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"

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(631): View more from New York

My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

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(330): View more from Ohio

this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.

(913): View more from Kansas

Nobody is perfect

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other

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(419): View more from Ohio

On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole

(705): View more from Ontario

Put me down for a bogey

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