We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
