God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
