Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
