I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
