sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
