I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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