i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
