He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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