i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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