sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize