May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
