tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
