Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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