I heard we made out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
