The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
