Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
