Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
