the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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