New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize