he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
