Say something about gay babies.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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