Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
