3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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