she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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