they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
