I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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