I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it because I queefed?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
