Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
