Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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