He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
