What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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