What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
