I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
