Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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