The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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