even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
