He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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