Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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