I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
