like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
