Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
