if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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