I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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