Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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