arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
